he's here. 26 december 2013.
he is handsome, sweet, quiet, and perfect as all babies are.
i love him with a quiet, deep emotion that can fill me with awe.
i love my own children with that kind of love.
i hope to be able to teach him things; abstract things like kindness, tolerance, logical deductions, and the profoundness found in books.
i hope to be able to show him rainbows, dew on grass blades, all the different kinds of life at the ocean's edge, and the shadows that play across a flag was it furls and unfurls in a strong breeze.
i hope to be able to answer his questions and give him more questions for us to find out the answers together.
i hope he can grow to love me.
it's the last night of 2013.
going to bed early.
no one to do anything with.
curl up with my dogs and try to forget the day,
my current respiratory illness,
the fact that i have to get up to go to work tomorrow.
i wish i could be with them - my daughter and her new baby.
but he is so new, and i am so sick.
i wish i could talk to my Dragon.
i'd like to be held once more.
i'd like to fall into a deep, restorative sleep in his arms.
i'd like to think he's doing great.
i'd like to think he still loves me