tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6580898742645753422.post2482952878522247372..comments2023-10-01T10:27:21.384-04:00Comments on the art of grief: impasse with Godabandonedsoulshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06020499806998154330noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6580898742645753422.post-56667138361433722242010-03-19T00:14:51.128-04:002010-03-19T00:14:51.128-04:00Interesting thoughts. Interesting questions.
I be...Interesting thoughts. Interesting questions.<br /><br />I believe that I have shared with you that I was raised Catholic, and also was in the seminary in my early 20's. During my time in the seminary I fell in love for the first time with another student. After a few years I returned home to figure out what I wanted out of life. I felt angry at God because the man I loved had to decided between being with me, or serving God. He picked God, but continued to give me mixed messages. I felt betrayed by God because of this.<br /><br />When Michael got sick with cancer, and later died, I was also equally angry at God for taking my love away. The difference with Michael dying was that I wasn't just dealing with being angry at God, but for the first time in my life I began feeling unsure about heaven, and what lies ahead for us.<br /><br />I have always felt that God, and heaven, are things that we cannot fully comprehend and understand. While we were made in God's image, we don't know in what sense. For this reason I have always chosen to not conjure up any picture of God, or any picture of heaven. I don't even think of God as the father, more as the parent figure. <br /><br />When Michael died I just sat there stunned, wondering where in the hell did he go? I could literally see the life leave his body. He was there one minute, and he was gone the next. Suddenly comforting thoughts of him being with God were of no use for me. I kept saying outloud, "where did you go?"<br /><br />In time I have decided that it is not for me to truly know. That is what faith is about. I have to trust that the loving God that I know and believe in, has a plan. In my human experience I can never fully comprehend what the plan is. In this way I can begin to let go of my hurt and anger. I can tell myself that there is so much more that I can understand. I can tell myself that it is okay to be angry, and to question God. This is because God knows that I am a mere human. <br /><br />For this reason I also feel that it is my human experience that needs to have an understanding of what heaven is. I can believe that it is all the wonderful things I need it to be, because it will be that and so much more.<br /><br />I believe that God's love is eternal. It doesn't go away because of the choices we find ourselves having to make. We are not all the same person, so we are not all put into the same situations in life. Some of us have tougher jobs here on earth. Some of us have to make harder choices. God understands what is in our heart, and sees us beyond the human actions we take. <br /><br />You can trust your experience of God and heaven. You can trust your understanding of what type of man Dragon was. You can trust your understanding of what death is, and what comes after it. That understanding is what feeds your faith, and keeps the goodness in your heart alive. <br /><br />In my heart I know Michael will be there waiting for me. I don't expect to know him in physical form, because I have his ashes sitting right here beside me. When he died I finally understood that it will not matter what he used to look like. I will know him by his spirit. I will know him by his love. <br /><br />It's just like a song in church, "They will know we are christians by our love, by our love, they will know we are christians by our love."<br /><br />God will know us by our love. <br /><br />You will know Dragon by his love.<br /><br />-just my thoughtsDanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02218009891182171803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6580898742645753422.post-61202532183053961972010-03-18T20:33:14.072-04:002010-03-18T20:33:14.072-04:00I have had many of the same wonderings, but only &...I have had many of the same wonderings, but only "after" will we know all the answers. Continue to believe as you do. I am sure of one thing, when the time comes, Your Dragon will come to you with out reached hand to take you on your journey into the next life.Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03399435237919718544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6580898742645753422.post-53836800465678499212010-03-18T19:42:39.783-04:002010-03-18T19:42:39.783-04:00god is love and love is god. Threats and damnation...god is love and love is god. Threats and damnation are instruments of wounded humans trying to control their own pain by harming others. That is not love. Think of when your own kids made mistakes, or irritated you - you may have been annoyed, but you love them. You still love them now. You want their learning and their peace-of-self. Why would god be any LESS loving to his/her children? Any god who does not accept love that is offered, love that is given - that is not a god I want anything to do with. What I have read, what I believe, what I have heard from my own love since he changed dimensions on me, is that, at least initially, you have the after-life you believe you will. You see what you think you will see. Thoughts are everything. Prayer is the most amazing thought. <br /><br />Have you read Love is Stronger than death? I had to order it from amazon, as I couldn't find it locally. I think you'll like it. <br /><br />xoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6580898742645753422.post-81195801943128260942010-03-18T18:17:06.022-04:002010-03-18T18:17:06.022-04:00wNs, I wish you could see yourself as I do - if on...wNs, I wish you could see yourself as I do - if only for a moment - as Woman in Light. I wish even more you could see yourself through the eyes of your Dragon. I know without a doubt, with all certainty in the world, that when your time comes, the first arms that embrace you will be your Dragon. Love is an energy - and you cannot destroy it. Death has nothing on what you two shared, and still share. This was a beautiful post for so many reasons. My heart sank with the last line....<br /><br />"....and He honored me with my Dragon." <br /><br />Just beautiful. What we know of love here on earth is only a fraction to how it will be on the other side - I hope that thought can comfort you, in your knowing that your connection with your Dragon can only strengthen, deepen from here on out.Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18387405534615945777noreply@blogger.com