tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6580898742645753422.post6532040579820310402..comments2023-10-01T10:27:21.384-04:00Comments on the art of grief: Dragons in the hoop and the Quilt on the Wallabandonedsoulshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06020499806998154330noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6580898742645753422.post-56917368135090204442009-10-12T17:40:18.704-04:002009-10-12T17:40:18.704-04:00Beckypdj, i am so terribly sorry for the loss of y...Beckypdj, i am so terribly sorry for the loss of your only child. my first baby, a son, died at only 19 weeks. it is a death that is so different to go through than a spouse but the weight of the anguish it brings is just as hard. my son did not live long but his profound presence lingers still, after 27 years. i wish you peace as you create your own Memory Quilt out of your son's clothes.abandonedsoulshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06020499806998154330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6580898742645753422.post-29407035631222261292009-10-12T14:16:04.455-04:002009-10-12T14:16:04.455-04:00So sorry for your loss.
I understand the part abou...So sorry for your loss.<br />I understand the part about losing your identity. I still have my husband, but our only child moved to Heaven Jan. 12 2008. I miss being his mom. A memory quilt is definitely something I want to do (or I should say, "have done"). <br /><br />It helps to write about our feelings, so keep at it.Beckypdjhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06266740083686605381noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6580898742645753422.post-16691286421127460302009-10-12T13:19:32.591-04:002009-10-12T13:19:32.591-04:00I just wanted to add that another piece of this ad...I just wanted to add that another piece of this adding to the challenge is that when we lose our husbands, we also are forced to create/establish new identities. We must rely on ourselves for strength and nurturing to some degree (even more if we are not surrounded by close family/friends). This is such a daunting task when we are mourning. Here we are, without our better half whom we have relied on and flung out into the world needing to scramble as we reinvent ourselves and come up with new ways of coping and facing life.Widow in the Middlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01598249263166943162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6580898742645753422.post-19066505416977659012009-10-12T12:53:25.552-04:002009-10-12T12:53:25.552-04:00judemiller1, there are 25 handkerchiefs in all and...judemiller1, there are 25 handkerchiefs in all and i have thumbnail ideas for each one that i'll draw to fit the square. i'm not sure what i'll do once they are all done. it's a project that will take a long time, but one that settles my heart and mind as i work on it.<br /><br />Widow in the Middle, my quilt, ah, i'm both captivated and heartsick by it. i started it 3 weeks after i moved here, one month after he died, so it represents a frenzied attempt to have that connection to clothes i will never wash again. it also represents the nights i never slept, but stayed up working on it. but it is not exactly what i had in mind. i want it better, more perfect, so it stays on the wall as a reminder, for now, of the saving grace it provided during those first weeks of intense pain, physical grief. i'll figure it out one way or the other.<br /><br />hi Friend Suddenwidow, thank you for stopping by. you stated it more eloquently than i, the soul feeling so empty. we're out here in our worlds lost in this anguish. somehow, someway, we have to navigate the rest of our lives without our mates. i'm thinking of you as well. take care of yourself. and i love your new profile photo. so beautiful. i'm misty.abandonedsoulshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06020499806998154330noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6580898742645753422.post-82972001877216674842009-10-12T11:43:11.100-04:002009-10-12T11:43:11.100-04:00Hello my friend,
I completely believe the signs f...Hello my friend,<br /><br />I completely believe the signs from your Dragon were him. What a gift for you! And I love the gifts of the handkerchiefs you are embroidering for both of you. You are an amazing, talented woman!<br /><br />I think many of us feel the loss of our self worth when our beloved soul mate dies. When we have been part of a true partnership which has nurtured us, illuminated our previously dark lives and given us unconditional love, life without that partner feels bleak. Even with children who love us and need us, life feels bleak. Our children are meant to grow apart from us, to discover their own identities and eventually live their own lives. My children are years away from that reality and I do have other people around me, yet I still feel my love's absence so profoundly. I feel like part of me has been ripped away and I'm left less than half of who I was when he was here, left feeling completely alone and unworthy of anything good. No one else on this planet sees me in the same way that he did and I'm convinced no one ever will again. His unconditional love and illumination will never again be felt by me and that leaves my soul feeling so empty.<br /><br />So despite our different realities, we have similar emotions and feelings. Thinking of you today and every day.Debbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13743446066024389563noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6580898742645753422.post-42442008992197664152009-10-11T23:02:43.292-04:002009-10-11T23:02:43.292-04:00The handkerchiefs are a beautiful tribute to your ...The handkerchiefs are a beautiful tribute to your Dragon. I am so glad you are finding/making time for yourself. I hope you do not get too down on yourself for having to redo the quilt - I know you want it to be very special and sometimes we have to redo projects so they come out just so. Your Dragon would want you to be pleased and not have to settle for a quilt not up to your standards. In a way this will be the most important quilt you make because it is a memory of your Dragon - for him and for you - so it should be as perfect as humanly possible. And don't forget that we are our own worst critics and probably harder on ourselves than others would be. I thought that the remnants you used already look nice but I understand about your need to pick more special fabric.<br /><br />About the signs - what a totally amazing story about the radio turning on and playing that song at the time it did. Did the radio stop playing right away? Has it ever played again? Many widow(er)s tell of meaningful songs that played on the radio at certain times. I have been told that it is easier for our loved ones to give us signs soon after their passing and more difficult as time goes on. Apparently it can take a lot of energy for them to bring us those signs (it is not that easy). I was given numerous signs (electrical and a photo that propelled itself off the wall) in the beginning but after the first month they stopped. Sometimes I try to ask for a sign and get a response in a dream or thought that pops into my mind. I believe that God approves of whatever gives us comfort and solace. We probably miss a lot of other signs because we're too busy, preoccupied or worried about what others think.Widow in the Middlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01598249263166943162noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6580898742645753422.post-78701489567480628132009-10-11T22:22:22.544-04:002009-10-11T22:22:22.544-04:00Oh my gosh--you have a wonderful talent at drawing...Oh my gosh--you have a wonderful talent at drawing--and what a unique idea...to put dragons on your dragon's hankies. I love the thought and the sentiment.Will you carry one of those hankies with you to have a part of your dragon near you all the time?Judyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03399435237919718544noreply@blogger.com