poem to mark 136 days without daisies

my heart is completely shattered,

my world has been blown away.

on a handful of unpredictable breaths,

i changed from a wife to a stray.

i'm a widow in a world halfway frozen

with glib condolences tossed in my lap.

my life has been completely derailed

and i haven't yet found any map.

that i miss you, that's a given.

that it's this bad, nobody knows.

i cry everyday and even little things hurt

i have no highs, only lows.

i want you back, like your death never was

i can't live without you near.

the world grows colder while my heartache builds

the timeframe of my sorrow is clear.

i'll grieve for you my whole life long

such is my love, my connection to you.

you mattered more than you ever knew

there's nothing left here for me to do.

so i'll wait and i'll live because that's all that's left

i just work to numb the heartache.

i'll wait for you for as long as it takes

and paste on a smile that is fake.