how did i get here?

my husband, my beautiful Dragon, died suddenly at 12:03 AM on 9 February 2009. there was a cold, lovely full moon and 3 feet of snow on the ground. i "slept" for the following 10 months and "woke" to the physical and emotional pain and torments of deep grief. i "woke" to find i had moved the day of his funeral and that i am lost. i am looking for me while i figure out the abstract, unanswerable questions that follow behind any death. my art has evolved. his death changed that as well because i am forever changed and will forever bear the mark of losing the only man i can ever love.
there is alive and there is dead and there is a place in between. i am here wholly in my heart for my children, but i feel empty inside at this time. i miss him. i have not gotten very far in my grief journey. i make no apologies for this.
this is my place, my blog, where i write to tell the universe that i am still here.
Showing posts with label inflatable ducks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inflatable ducks. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

inflatable duck while waiting for the Tylenol PM to kick in....

i'm waiting for the Tylenol PM to kick in but i think i'm getting immune or i waited until the pain in my knees and my hand was too far along.

i woke the dogs with my picture taking. they were so sound asleep. bless their hearts. i woke them up. i think they're worried about me. my sleep patterns have been disrupted since February 9th, that awful night. i can see a full moon coming on again. it's almost 8 months.

Carmen Sophia was perturbed by the flash.

Scootie Wootums had something to say about it. i stopped bothering them and found this duck. i do wish i had this duck. maybe i could sleep on his back.

he has a nice smile, a calm countenance. i bet he'd listen to my woes and never judge. ah well, maybe the Tylenol PM is finally kicking in. i hope someone liked my puppies and this duck. i hope i can sleep a little tonight.

i hope he comes to me in my dreams. a Dragon with moonlight-colored hair and a soft beard. i would sleep for a long time if only i could feel his arms around me ~~~~~~ just once more.