how did i get here?

my husband, my beautiful Dragon, died suddenly at 12:03 AM on 9 February 2009. there was a cold, lovely full moon and 3 feet of snow on the ground. i "slept" for the following 10 months and "woke" to the physical and emotional pain and torments of deep grief. i "woke" to find i had moved the day of his funeral and that i am lost. i am looking for me while i figure out the abstract, unanswerable questions that follow behind any death. my art has evolved. his death changed that as well because i am forever changed and will forever bear the mark of losing the only man i can ever love.
there is alive and there is dead and there is a place in between. i am here wholly in my heart for my children, but i feel empty inside at this time. i miss him. i have not gotten very far in my grief journey. i make no apologies for this.
this is my place, my blog, where i write to tell the universe that i am still here.
Showing posts with label womanNshadows. Show all posts
Showing posts with label womanNshadows. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Bunny's pictures

Bunny takes pictures. Bunny always has. she is a photo-freak. snap. snap snap. it is a beautiful world. way down there. way out there. way up there. everywhere.

Bunny got some emails ~~ no, the good kind. some people out there like Bunny's photos and want to buy some. Bunny smiled. Bunny tried to build a website, a free one, because, well, Bunny is quite poor. Bunny started to frown. damn those free websites. text boxes galore but no way to upload photos unless you pay, and pay, and pay. damn, damn, damn. Bunny's eyes were tearing up. her little lips were trembling. Bunny is still a little fragile and it seemed like the photo gods were laughing at her, until her son said,

"flickr!"

ah, flickr. Bunny almost swooned with relief. so this posting is Bunny's big announcement.

Bunny has two new flickr accounts; two because even flickr has a ceiling.
www.flickr.com/photos/womanNshadows/
flowers and trees
or as Bunny teasingly calls it, "flora fotos."

and then there's the "life by the ocean" photos...
www.flickr.com/photos/abandonedsouls/

there are links over there on the right to help everyone get there. now, you must promise to visit every so often because Bunny keeps adding photos to both of them. she is a very hard working Bunny. and remember, Christmas is coming. someone is having a birthday. it will be Wednesday again. pictures make great gifts. {Bunny is blushing but hey, marketing is marketing.}

whew! Bunny is tired tonight. {pssst. she stayed up late last night, waiting until the clouds all left her lovely, lonely moon alone so she could take more and more full moon photos.}

so anyway, Bunny is off to bed. she has to be at the dentist early in the morning for her permanent crown. finally. oh my heavens above. finally. and if he messes this up, again, Bunny is taking his picture and posting it for all the world to see. well, the little world that pays attention to Bunny.

and one more picture for the road. Bunny's beloved Dragon. Bunny loves this picture. Dragon was leading Bunny through the deep, dark, primeval forest that surrounds Dogtown. okay, we walked the path, but it was still spooky and twisty and turny and Dragon took the lead because he is brave and strong. Marines are not afraid of anything. we'll maybe Bunny, but that's another post. Bunny took lots of photos that day. Dragon turned around to laugh at her and Bunny took his picture.

poor little Bunny has lots and lots of pictures of her Dragon. i say poor little Bunny because she is always very aware that, now that her Dragon lives beyond the moon in Heaven, there will be no more pictures of her Dragon.

on a lighter note, if you haven't, click on the music. yes, Bunny uploaded "Kodachrome." it's a catchy little tune and fitting for a post on pictures.