the forgotten, sunset-loving Bunny

Bunny wasn't going to write at all today. she had planned on having a really nice day. it was her day off from the store. she had made a really good stew the night before. leftovers! she was going to have lunch with her daughter at her apartment. just a nice lunch of stew and talk. Bunny has not seen her daughter much since Bunny got her car.

but first Bunny had an appointment with someone. Bunny drove in the bright morning sun with the windows down. birds were chirping. Bunny had made notes. she had wanted to talk about something critically important in her grief journey. so important. she has been waiting for days for this appointment.

Bunny got there. she waited 10 minutes. 15 minutes. the person Bunny was to see was a no-show. the other person in the office called her. yes, she had forgotten Bunny. so sorry. very human thing to do. next week then at a time Bunny does not like, but what is a Bun to do. that's right. hang her fuzzy head in embarrassment and say, "no, that's fine. not a problem."

but it is a problem for Bunny. it really is. but how does Bunny say anything about it? Bunny really is not that important.

Bunny, of course, understands. people forget things all the time. still, it hurt deeply. Bunny started crying. hot embarrassed tears started to flow and all Bunny wanted to do was hide her little face in shame. it is silly to cry over being forgotten. it is not like Bunny is important or anything. she is just a silly stuffed animal maker and an artist.
she is just an older, scruffy Bunny who works hard all day every day. her fuzzy face is showing her age. her sleepless, sorrowful eyes still shine with unshed tears.
Bunny is just a little Bun that will never leave a big footprint. few will know she ever came by. a few she could name will be glad when she stops breathing air. but that's something she is supposed to breathe through and let go of. easy to say. hard to do.

maybe her artwork will hold up through time. maybe not. Bunny will be long gone and will put her back to this life that has not been so gracious.

"one loves the sunset when one is so sad." ~ from Saint-Exupery's The Little Prince.

Bunny stares at the sunset today and feels the pull to write out to the universe that she has had her feelings hurt today. she is so easily wounded now that her Dragon has passed from their life together. she pines for him so, much more than before, she thinks. she hurts so much. psssst. that was the very important stuff she desperately needed to talk about today; about how much she is hurting still. hurting so badly.

*sigh* ah, well, it is not an important issue to the world. just a sad Bunny Bun Bun missing her lovely, strong, eloquent Dragon.

he loves country music. did you listen to the first song? Bunny found it and put it at the top of her playlist in honor of her Dragon's appreciation of Garth Brooks's music.

Bunny, herself, is a Sarah MacLachlin fan.

"i feel just like i'm sinking

and i claw for solid ground

i'm pulled down by the undertow

i never thought i could feel so low

oh, darkness, i feel like letting go."

yeah, darkness, being pulled down, clawing for solid ground, and Bunny feeling like she should just let go. of all the appointments for that woman to miss, Bunny's was not a good one to forget. forgettable Bunny.

cellophane Bunny. she looks out at a world feeling ashamed at her longing to be noticed, of her wish to find a Marlene Dietrich friend she feels at ease to call at 4 AM, at simply not being the one forgotten.

but Bunny has the memory, only the memory, of a Dragon who did not forget her. he loved her. loves her. spirits having a human experience. so he loves her. Dragon loves Bunny.

she needs to close her eyes before looking out her window, then open them to see only her Dragon out there waiting for her. do not look at the world as it is. look at what was, and what will be again.

then she'll be a Bunny who will always be with her Dragon and she will never be forgotten again. she will be with the one who loves her and will keep her within the embrace of his magnificent arms.

until then, scruffy, tired, lonely, forgotten Bunny is going back out to the balcony to watch the sun set.