how did i get here?

my husband, my beautiful Dragon, died suddenly at 12:03 AM on 9 February 2009. there was a cold, lovely full moon and 3 feet of snow on the ground. i "slept" for the following 10 months and "woke" to the physical and emotional pain and torments of deep grief. i "woke" to find i had moved the day of his funeral and that i am lost. i am looking for me while i figure out the abstract, unanswerable questions that follow behind any death. my art has evolved. his death changed that as well because i am forever changed and will forever bear the mark of losing the only man i can ever love.
there is alive and there is dead and there is a place in between. i am here wholly in my heart for my children, but i feel empty inside at this time. i miss him. i have not gotten very far in my grief journey. i make no apologies for this.
this is my place, my blog, where i write to tell the universe that i am still here.

Sunday, October 13, 2013

the answer was "no."

update on the living thing - on the rent going up and i hope i can save myself living situation thing.

their answer was "no."

Bunny has to try and get this all figured out, but she's not alone.  she's got the best friends there ever could be with her, staying by her side through shattered dreams and tear-filled nights.
that's more than a lot of others get to have.
but she knows, oh, Bunny knows that
life isn't going to be kind to her;
not just yet.



Judy said...


Anonymous said...

So sorry bunny. As a widow myself, have found myself on the end of a lot of cruelty in the last nearly three years - most of it unintentional, but a lot of it comes from finding out that the people I would have expected to help, just don't. On top of the pain and heartbreak we are already experiencing, it kicks you on top of the original wound doesn't it. Heartfelt prayers that you find a safe place, lower rent and can keep your home. Take care.

Anonymous said...

Your beautiful writing has helped so many through their journey of grief.I hope someone who you have helped can help you in this time of are a very strong woman and you have been through so much...

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