i have known great pain in my life. i have known terror. i have lived in fear. but i have never had an ache like this. this is the ache of mourning. of grief. of loneliness for only one person. the one person i can never have again in this lifetime.
i say "in this lifetime" because if i did not add that little phrase, i would hyperventilate. i need to see it there. i need to reassure myself that i will see him again. that he is waiting for me....
i love the moon. all of it's phases. all of the colors it can be. i love the moon. in inconstant moon that is altered and reshaped with the suns capricious whims. inconstant because that is what nature wills. like the death of my Dragon. capricious. what nature willed.
i am missing him so much since Christmas. the downfall of Bunny started with that first cough of that round of pneumonia. and then her birthday, our birthday, hers and mine. then the 2nd year milestone and Valentine's Day ~ the infamous day of hearts for some and funerals for others. and finally the crowning blow. another attack of pneumonia.
Brokedown Bunny. crying a little more these days than before.the moon, the stars, Bunny and her Dragon. heaven and dragons and bunnies. such an odd companionship. such an odd, odd, image. and yet, for Bunny, for me, the ache that lives in my heart. the pain of searching the moon for a passing shadow of a Dragon. the pain of hoping he is waiting for me, and sometimes, God help me, sometimes being afraid he is not.
the Bun and her Great Sparkly Moon Book. the Bun and her whimsical clothes.
the Bun and her little toy Dragon. if they weren't so cute looking together it could almost make you cry.