how did i get here?

my husband, my Dragon, died suddenly at 12:03 AM, 9 February 2009. it was a full moon. i "slept" for the following 10 months and "woke" to the physical pain and emotional torments of deep grief. i "woke" to discover i had moved immediately after his funeral and that my art had evolved. it has changed
changed because of his death as i am forever changed as well and will forever bear the mark of his passing.
i am no longer near my beloved ocean
.
there is alive and there is dead and there is a place in between. i am here wholly in my heart for my children. i feel empty inside at this time because i miss him so very much. no other man will do. i am crawling through my grief so i haven't gotten very far. i make no apologies for this.
this place, this blog, is where i write to allow some light into my "dark night of the soul."

Bunny pines

Bunny pines
Bunny pines

Thursday, October 20, 2011

embroidery / Memory Quilts

Bunny has been so low, oh, so very low of late. worries. stress. pain. but still she lingers in this life. there is still stuff for her to do.

wisdom to impart? oh, pul-eeze. no wisdom from Bunny. Bunny just does what Bunny can. she works to live and yes, lives to work. it is all she has.
look at that soft, wistful little face? she has off today. it is good because she rests her foot up high on a Cushiony Soft Cushion of Restful Bliss. she has lingered in her 'jammies and is being, oh, so creative.

glimpses of the Memory Quilt she has been working on.
Eiffel Tower and Matterhorn and a snowboard embroidered on the quilt. lots and lots of colors and stitches.

this is the snow board Bunny embroidered that exactly matches the photograph sent to her to match. she worked so hard on this.

she also created a little ocean/island scene that she is very proud of. tons of floss. thousands of stitches. tricky fabric.

today she is working on the Porsche emblem. there is going to be the little Porsche horse in the center. Bunny is all propped up working; just working away.

she miss him, you know. she pines for her Dragon. nights are still so very hard. days at the store take her mind from her grief, but sitting there sewing, Bunny's fuzzy little mind has time to miss him. her foot aches with this sudden cold snap. owie ouch ouch. if Dragon were here, he'd tenderly rub her foot. he would stroke her soft fuzzy fur and take her into his arms and tell her this: "we'll get it fixed. i love you. you're brave, so brave. i'll find the money. we'll work it out."

so Bunny tells herself this: "he loves you still. you'll be getting, oh, so many hours as the holidays approach. you'll get on the insurance in 6 more months. just 6 more months and then you can get it fixed. he is so proud of you. he thinks you are oh, so brave. keep going. keep working. cry if you must. be patient with yourself......

because......

he loves you still."

3 comments:

Dan, in real time. said...

Of course he is so proud of you.

Of course you are so brave.

You keep moving forward, creating more, working through more, patiently wading through more

because...

he still loves you still.

Boo said...

yes he does.

He does.

He does love you still.

Sandy said...

Of course he still loves you. Carry his love in your heart for the rest of your life.

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