how did i get here?

my husband, my beautiful Dragon, died suddenly at 12:03 AM on 9 February 2009. there was a cold, lovely full moon and 3 feet of snow on the ground. i "slept" for the following 10 months and "woke" to the physical and emotional pain and torments of deep grief. i "woke" to find i had moved the day of his funeral and that i am lost. i am looking for me while i figure out the abstract, unanswerable questions that follow behind any death. my art has evolved. his death changed that as well because i am forever changed and will forever bear the mark of losing the only man i can ever love.
there is alive and there is dead and there is a place in between. i am here wholly in my heart for my children, but i feel empty inside at this time. i miss him. i have not gotten very far in my grief journey. i make no apologies for this.
this is my place, my blog, where i write to tell the universe that i am still here.
Showing posts with label my children and living with grief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my children and living with grief. Show all posts

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Easter

it's almost Easter.
my grief has been with me for 6 years now.
i don't know if i can call it grief.
i am not in deep grief.  it has been 6 years.
but i miss him and i call myself widow, not single.
i wear my wedding rings.
is what i feel grief? or have i moved on?
i haven't moved on from him but i have moved on with my life.
i'm not stagnant. i work.  i consider my needs.  i think about my family.
i make plans.  i hope for things like a nice vacation,
pain control of my foot and my arm.

but it is Spring.
it is Easter, almost.
it is a time to reflect and rejoice.
i have so much to be grateful for.

i have these guys.  my roomies.
i love my Carmen Sophia and Scootie Wootums.
we cuddle, walk, talk; we live together, truly live our lives.
we dance and laugh and watch tv. they wait for me when i am at work and rush home to them.

i love them so very much.

i have my son who is so wonderful.  i am so proud of him.
he has a great job and would do anything for me.
he helped me buy my car.  he got me my new fancy phone.
he calls me once or twice a week.
most of all that is so important to me,
he confides in me.  he tells me things.
he treats me like his mom and not his aging mother.
i love him so very much.

i have these two.  my daughter and grandson.
they bring such joy to my life.
my daughter and i talk 2 - 3 times a day during my work days.
on my days off, we talk more than that.
and i go see her and help her out.
we play with Finn.  we talk and talk as women will do.
she worries about me and i worry about her.
we are kindred spirits 
as well as mother and daughter.

and i have my Sanctuary.
a place of my own.
a place i have made my own.
a place i retreat to and feel safe.

i miss him.  i talk to him.  i talk about him.
am i still grieving?
i truly have no idea what to call it.
i know i have so much to be happy about.

do i wish he were here to be a part of it?
yes.
am i over his death?
i am over the fear and shock.
but i am not over him not being here.
do i deal with it in a healthy way.
i don't know what someone would call this, but this works for me.

i wish everyone a happy Spring.
i wish those who believe a happy Easter.

peace to all who read.  peace and light to all who grieve.