how did i get here?

my husband, my beautiful Dragon, died suddenly at 12:03 AM on 9 February 2009. there was a cold, lovely full moon and 3 feet of snow on the ground. i "slept" for the following 10 months and "woke" to the physical and emotional pain and torments of deep grief. i "woke" to find i had moved the day of his funeral and that i am lost. i am looking for me while i figure out the abstract, unanswerable questions that follow behind any death. my art has evolved. his death changed that as well because i am forever changed and will forever bear the mark of losing the only man i can ever love.
there is alive and there is dead and there is a place in between. i am here wholly in my heart for my children, but i feel empty inside at this time. i miss him. i have not gotten very far in my grief journey. i make no apologies for this.
this is my place, my blog, where i write to tell the universe that i am still here.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Five Full Moons

he died on the night of the full moon in February. i just came back inside from taking this photo of July's full moon, making it the fifth full moon since he died.

i count full moons.

every full moon i see sheds light on the passing of time. another month has gone by. i took February's full moon with him standing beside me. now i take the photos alone.

five full moons.

i see the moon and the moon sees me. God bless the moon, and God bless ........ my husband.


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