how did i get here?

my husband, my beautiful Dragon, died suddenly at 12:03 AM on 9 February 2009. there was a cold, lovely full moon and 3 feet of snow on the ground. i "slept" for the following 10 months and "woke" to the physical and emotional pain and torments of deep grief. i "woke" to find i had moved the day of his funeral and that i am lost. i am looking for me while i figure out the abstract, unanswerable questions that follow behind any death. my art has evolved. his death changed that as well because i am forever changed and will forever bear the mark of losing the only man i can ever love.
there is alive and there is dead and there is a place in between. i am here wholly in my heart for my children, but i feel empty inside at this time. i miss him. i have not gotten very far in my grief journey. i make no apologies for this.
this is my place, my blog, where i write to tell the universe that i am still here.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

absolutely nothing to say except.......

Bunny just wanted to say she is going to the doctor's this afternoon, and she is oozing worry. *sigh* she also wouldn't mind it if life were different.

here are here demands. 1. she still lived in Rockport, and 2. her lovely, lovely Dragon were by her side.

she is willing to spend the rest of her fuzzy little life sewing and painting and writing and making stained glass and taking photographs just to get this all back. but Bunny thinks all God is going to do is give her a gentle little hug. *sigh*
that's all she wanted to say. she is going to go cry now. will let you know how it goes.

6 comments:

cancerwidow said...

Hugs and best wishes. xxx

Sudden widow said...

Oh that wishes could come true... I have a couple of them myself. Good luck at the doctor and keep us posted.
Thinking of you.

Sandy said...

Hugs & good luck at the doctor today.

TheMarchHare said...

Bunny has dreams that no one knows anything about. .....out in the dark looking up at the sky....there is alive and there is dead 'and, "there is a place in between" ....as Bunny searches the sky for Dragon.....she even has her outfit picked out.......living in the Land of Forever

TheMarchHare said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TheMarchHare said...

A life that shines so bright as his, as can clearly be seen in his eyes, doesn't just die, and I hope you are still going strong for him.

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