how did i get here?

my husband, my beautiful Dragon, died suddenly at 12:03 AM on 9 February 2009. there was a cold, lovely full moon and 3 feet of snow on the ground. i "slept" for the following 10 months and "woke" to the physical and emotional pain and torments of deep grief. i "woke" to find i had moved the day of his funeral and that i am lost. i am looking for me while i figure out the abstract, unanswerable questions that follow behind any death. my art has evolved. his death changed that as well because i am forever changed and will forever bear the mark of losing the only man i can ever love.
there is alive and there is dead and there is a place in between. i am here wholly in my heart for my children, but i feel empty inside at this time. i miss him. i have not gotten very far in my grief journey. i make no apologies for this.
this is my place, my blog, where i write to tell the universe that i am still here.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

the Ambassador's Itinerary & Bunny's Big News!!

i think we have in all the addresses that are going to be sent to me. i wanted to let everyone know the Ambassador's itinerary so they can sort of see a projection of when she will visit. this is based on first come, first visited but also on some vacation schedules that i was let in on. i know Bunny is very excited to get on her way. so here is her itinerary:

first she will go to Canada to see Suddenwidow
then off to Surrey, UK to see Boo.
after that she will skippity skip over to Wales to see J.
after a lovely time spent with Moose and J-in-Wales, the Ambassador will be put back in her shipping box to be sent all the way to Queensland, Australia.
after her visit Down Under, the Ambassador will go hoppity hop hop up the side of the world to Alaska! wow.
then on to Arizona to get a close up look at some cactus.
on to Houston for a visit with Lonesome Dove,
and then on to another address in Houston to sit and visit with Widowsphere: our lovely Thelmaz.
up to Maine for a great time Down East and then Bunny will be mailed to an address just over the border from her own home: South Carolina.
after her visit there, the lovely woman in South Carolina is going to drive Bunny home to come visit with her alter ego, womanNshadows.

whew! but never fear. Bunny is ready. she has her journal all ready with all the addresses and information so when you get her, open up her journal for information.

now when she visits, make sure you talk to her. she is such a good listener. look at her furry little face. such a soulful face. and she is soft and has an "I love you" in her paw. she is ready to sit with you and listen to all you want to tell her. and write in her journal. little quotes. maybe a song lyric. or heartfelt words you want to put out to the world. we will all be reading and want that connection. please take advantage of Bunny's journal. we all want to be heard. we all need to know that someone else is listening. well, here are 10 women who are listening. here are 10 women, plus me and Bunny, who want to know what you have to say.

we are a tribe. lean on us. hug Bunny. tears are only salt water. she does not mind. trust me.

take photos of Bunny wherever you take her. with whomever you wish or wants to be in a photo with her. email the photos to me and i will post them. i plan on printing out all the photos and maybe making up little photo albums for everyone if that seems like something we want to do. the Ambassador's Travels. i am playing it by ear, as it were.

i will post when she is mailed off on Tuesday, Jan 25th. i plan on using a Flat Rate Box so i think it should last and can be reused all the way through.

now, yes, there was another full moon last night. since there was a Blue Moon in December of 2009, this was the 24th full moon since my Dragon died. it felt surreal.

remember what i said about Bunny not minding salty tears? that's how i know.
now for the Big NEWS!!!!

on the night of the full moon, when Bunny was very down and had worked very hard all day, she got her Christmas present/birthday present from her son and daughter.
she checked on it before going to bed last night. such an excited Bunny.

drum roll...........................

Bunny got a CAR!
is she not just the most gorgeous and happiest Bunny you ever saw!? the car is a Toyota Camry and it is a standard. perfect for the Bun to make vroom vroom noises as she drives. she can't drive it yet. she needs to get insurance and her tags but she will do that next week on her day off. ooooo, she is so happy.

the car is black so Bunny has named her Midnight.

and this is the crew that got it all done for the Bun. from left to right, Bunny's son-in-law and her lovely daughter who did all the leg work and went yesterday and got Midnight for Bun. next in his Santa Claus suit is Bunny's son who paid for the car. oh, my gosh, Bunny loves her children so much. and last but not least is the big guy, Bunny's son-in-law's father who found the car, who is a mechanic and worked on the car making it work perfectly and safely.
such a wonderful thing to do for the Bun. *sniff sniff* she is getting a little emotional right now. Bunny is so grateful and so overwhelmed with the thought of it all. a car. for Bunny. maybe things will be okay.

hey, my lovely Dragon. i made it through another full moon. i made it through my birthday. they kids got me a car. i love you. i miss you. watch over me while i drive. muah. you're still the prettiest man i ever met.


Sandy said...

Oh what wonderful children you have! I am so looking forward to my visit with Bunny and I find this just an absolutely wonderful idea. Thank you so much for putting it together for all of us.

judemiller1 said...

OHMIGOSH---now Bun can drive to Rockport this summer!!! She has a car--all she needs is a motel for a couple of nights and she is on her way.

I can't believe children would do such a magnificent thing as get you a car--I don't think mine would for me. Happy Trails to Bun--may her journey be smooth and refreshing to all she meets.

Dan, in real time. said...

I'm so happy for you. What a wonderful and generous gift. I love how they all came together to make this happen for you. I imagine you now taking flight! It's almost like Bunny with wings. Does that make her sort of a hybrid dragon-bunny?

Love you.

Boo said...

How wonderful. A car woo-hooooooo. Freedom for the Bun. I hope bunny doesn't watch "Thelma and Louise" and get any ideas ....

your children are precious, but you already know that x

one idea about our globe-trotting friend and creating a book about her adventures ... if you go to it is completely free to make books. You only pay if you print them :-) The package is very user-friendly and you can upload photos and make a scrapbook/photo/memory book on line and let it be seen by the anyone, or just people that you decide should see it ... then if we'd like hard copies, we can order direct from the website? Just a thought xxx

womanNshadows said...

hi everyone. i could not have made it like this without my daughter and son. i do not know where i would be without them.

and Boo, i love the idea of i will look into it. so everyone getting a visit from Bunny, be sure to take lots of pictures and email them to me. i am loving the idea of the books. thanks Boo. =0)

Anonymous said...

I am so very happy for you, that your children organised a car to give you some (physical) freedom. Perhaps this year will the beginning of an easier time for you in this regard? I certainly hope this is the case. Looking forward to Bunny's visit to Qld, Australia.

Anonymous said...

Oh wow! What an amazing blessing for you!

Anonymous said...

what a wonderful job you and your dragon did with your children that they are so compassionate to come together and give you the gift you need most .. your freedom !! enjoy !! C.

thelmaz said...

I am so excited about Bunny's car. Congratulations, Bun, and what great kids you have.
I'm looking forward to Bunny's visit. Maybe after she finishes there, Lonesome Dove and I can meet for lunch.
I'm leaving on vacation tomorrow. I hope I (we) will not get lost this time. I plan to beat my sister at Scrabble as usual and to take lots of pictures.
The last time I was in Ushuaia, Argentina, I was with Ralph, so this will not be an easy part of the trip. What I remember most from there, aside from our being together, was a wonderful fudge shop. I can't eat chocolate, but I hope I can find the shop again. Fudge is such a great present to bring home.

womanNshadows said...

thanks everyone for stopping by and commenting. i'll say it again. i am so very blessed to have my children. and thelma, i hope you have a wonderful time and by the way, the Bun loves fudge. =0)

J-in-Wales said...

The night you received your car from your wonderful, caring children, there was such a beautiful dragon moon over the hills here that it took my breath away. That's what I always call them now - dragon moons - and I think of you when I see one.

I am very much looking forward to my visit from Mme Ambassador.

Suzann said...

Sorry I have been absent - things here are crazy --- I am soooooooooo happy for you - what a special gift from your oh so special children to a very, very special Mother!! Freeeeeedommmmmm for Bunny!!! xoxox

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