so this little film is one that Bunny made. what an actress! wow, Bunny can be very dramatic. love what she did with the lighting, and getting the camera to focus close up on her fuzzy little face there at the last second before the scream. love it. love it all. Bunny did a great job. okay, maybe she got a little carried away but when the creative juices are flowing, there is no telling what can come up.
Bunny has been so very tired lately. she is doing so well at work but she gets scared. work hours are performance based. they have some new hires, all young people, and Bunny is being the best little Bunny bear associate she can be. she says "yes, yes, yes" to everything. she needs the hours she has, if not more. she got a 25 cent an hour raise. 25 whole cents an hour.
ah, the world of retail. where you give your all and get the pat on the back with a quarter more an hour. *sigh*
i do not know what i wish anymore. i know my Dragon is in a better place. he has to be happy where he is. it is what i pray for countless times a day. just a quick, "let him be in Heaven."
me? the Bun? definitely Purgatory. i miss him fiercely. i miss the way he smelled. i miss his voice. i miss his hands reaching for mine, or for some other body part of mine. i need his counsel. i need his eyes looking into mine with his wild love and solemn promise that he won't leave me here.
having said that, scroll up and hit replay on the little film that Bunny made. it's dark here where i am. not outside. inside. i feel dark inside. i am on the down turn of this roller coaster right now. i know there will be an upswing, but for now, my art of grief is dark. as are my thoughts. as is my mood.
someone please, "turn on the light."