how did i get here?

my husband, my beautiful Dragon, died suddenly at 12:03 AM on 9 February 2009. there was a cold, lovely full moon and 3 feet of snow on the ground. i "slept" for the following 10 months and "woke" to the physical and emotional pain and torments of deep grief. i "woke" to find i had moved the day of his funeral and that i am lost. i am looking for me while i figure out the abstract, unanswerable questions that follow behind any death. my art has evolved. his death changed that as well because i am forever changed and will forever bear the mark of losing the only man i can ever love.
there is alive and there is dead and there is a place in between. i am here wholly in my heart for my children, but i feel empty inside at this time. i miss him. i have not gotten very far in my grief journey. i make no apologies for this.
this is my place, my blog, where i write to tell the universe that i am still here.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

the clouds parted ~ my moon

the clouds parted for a while.....
in and out i saw him......
as if he was trying to find me as much as i was trying to find him.....
i cried when i saw that i was going to get my full moon photographs for this month.....
"i see the moon and the moon sees me.
the moon sees the somebody that i'd like to see.
God bless the moon and God bless me.
God bless the somebody i'd like to see."
~ nursery rhyme

God bless my Dragon who lives on the moon.
i've been a good girl please give me a boon.
i weep and i pine, for my Dragon i sigh.
please show me a glimpse of him up in the sky.

i think i see his love drawn on the moon's face.
i wish i was back in his loving embrace.
i see the moon. does the moon see me?
i sigh at the moon until death sets me free.
~ my rhyme




2 comments:

judemiller1 said...

I am so happy you got to see your moon. I just knew that Dragon wouldn't let a month go by without showing his face.

Dan, in real time. said...

Your images of the moon are beautiful.

Your words are haunting, and sublime.

How wonderful that you have the moon arriving each month to lead you back to your Dragon.

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