i am back from "the visit." nothing to say about it except i am back. my thoughts are chaotic but it's fine. it's all going to be fine.
i walked into the apartment and took Scootie Wootums and Carmen Sophia out for a bit. the moon is 77% full. the 31st will be a full moon. i talked to him up there but all i heard was another voice that grates and grates. but i'm fine. it's all going to be fine. i'm just tired tonight.
i went back inside and took an Advil. i sat down for a minute and then got up to set up Bunny and Dragon to symbolize what i'd really like to have happening tonight. right now. i wish he were here. i really do. i just want him to hold me but i know that this embrace will never happen again. still, i have to admit that i stared at the photo until i started crying. finally."things are not always what they seem; the first appearance deceives many; the intelligence of a few perceives what have been carefully hidden."
he's like that, you know, the one who met us for dinner tonight. what is there can be hidden deep if he wants it to be. but i know it's there and knowing what's out there in the darkness helps me to prepare to meet it head on. after a skirmish though, i am always tired, drained. but it's over and nothing heinous happened. SSDD.
i miss my Dragon.