how did i get here?

my husband, my beautiful Dragon, died suddenly at 12:03 AM on 9 February 2009. there was a cold, lovely full moon and 3 feet of snow on the ground. i "slept" for the following 10 months and "woke" to the physical and emotional pain and torments of deep grief. i "woke" to find i had moved the day of his funeral and that i am lost. i am looking for me while i figure out the abstract, unanswerable questions that follow behind any death. my art has evolved. his death changed that as well because i am forever changed and will forever bear the mark of losing the only man i can ever love.
there is alive and there is dead and there is a place in between. i am here wholly in my heart for my children, but i feel empty inside at this time. i miss him. i have not gotten very far in my grief journey. i make no apologies for this.
this is my place, my blog, where i write to tell the universe that i am still here.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

i changed my igoogle homepage....

piggy piggy spins and floats across the top of the page. that's why the photo of him is fuzzy. he's so busy spinning and floating. i love him. he makes me smile.

2 comments:

Suddenwidow said...

Cute! My theme is summer ocean. Does that surprise you? But the sunny beach and water scenes make me feel good? warm? closer to him? I can't decide which. Probably a little of all three. Dylan is at a friend's playing but when he gets home I'll show him your email. The quilt is beautiful and he will really appreciate the email!

Time to go mark - yipee!

Boo said...

OMG have you finished one of the quilts?????? Wonder woman. Never mind the piggy spinning and moving so fast that he looks blurry. So must you sewing!

I see the moon under the piggy piggy ... no need for words.

My igoogle is of the planet ... showing it partly lit and partly dark, and it is in real-time. I love it.

Sleep well xx

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